welcome to the dentist's chair.

Welcome To The Dentist’s Chair

Dear one, don’t be bashful, start reading, don’t just stare.

This might calm and enlighten a few things that bother,

As the time approaches when you sit there, next to the sink.

I must say this once and forgive me, yes, many times over.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome, to the dentist’s chair.

After my salutations, may I say that you’re here not there

Oh, I know, I know that you would rather be somewhere.

But you asked on the phone for a time and said “Yes, thanks!”

So what’s your choice or route of escape? Going nowhere?!

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome, to the dentist’s chair.

It’s time oh, yes! Open your mouth as wide as you dare

To make it easy for those things made of metal or steel

Ever mysterious, quite pointy and well engineered

To enter with probing and guile into teeth that still feel.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

The “nice” dentist, I name “sage of enamel so bare”

Will of course examine and itemise whatever’s inside,

The number of your teeth and the state of your gums.

You’re alone! No cuddly mum to hold close by your side.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

We both know it has never been a fun-filled affair

When the dentist and nurse do what they must do next.

They’re professionals, do trust their experience please.

Be grateful, don’t begrudge or they’ll curse you a hex.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Colour and state of your teeth, you might be unaware

Rest assured, you bet ‘ya the dentist knows and critiques

Decay on your buccal, occlusal or whatever the term

As she scolds you in soft tones for your brushing technique.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Why must they use and employ that thing with the glare,

A dental mirror they call it, yeah, of course, you surmise

To inspect around corners and find decay on your teeth,

The source of your pain and your shame. That’s no surprise!

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

  

How strong is that suction, can it suck out your hair?

Must they use it to vacuum the dirty water, as you balk?

You plainly wonder in humorous and wide-eyed jibs

What’s its brand, “Hoover?” Ask her in mirth? Can’t talk!

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Oh must you listen and hear the loud happenings there

As the drilling commences, resonating like weird chants

That “jack-hammering” takes minutes, perhaps forever.

So just pray that it’s all over before you pee in your pants.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Oh, will you keep eating those gooey chocolate éclairs?

You must know past your stomach, to your hips they go

And processed sugar harms the coating of your teeth.

You cower as she says its sticks like sweet arrows from bow.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Now don’t kick up a fuss, bucking legs like a wild mare

When told “For you, a periodontist or orthodontist

Is required for pink gums and symmetry in your teeth.”

Sieged with confusion, you nod, though you know not the gist.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

You might feel uneasy, frightened and gagging for air

As the ubiquitous plaque is scraped at then whisked away

But necessary it is, don’t you fret, don’t you even complain

As you lie there recumbent, in full glory, as if wasting away.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Sometimes an x-ray’s not needed, though that’s quite rare

So don’t yell out or dispute,” Can’t we skip that part? Quick!

Yes, that film makes it more costly, but she must diagnose!

So sit, be quiet, don’t argue or you’ll sound like a dick.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

If a bevelled needle with local is required, you might care.

Especially if you sweat at the sharp sting that it brings,

It’s an offer you cannot refuse as the godfather once said.

Refuse? No second chances in the midst of proceedings. J

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

At times it’s imperative, though it might not seem fair,

To teeth adjacent, sharp metal clips that pinch and cut

Are used to secure a rubber dam, a latex barrier of sorts,

To stop all that “red” murky water entering your gut.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

One tooth may be sore or if so unlucky, a pair

You suffered perhaps in some hours, precious sleep lost

But dental fate has now led you to this circumstance

So sit there in silence, as you moan and ponder the cost.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Dear “victim”, it’s not in childhood nursery rhymes wares

When she advises a crown is imminent as you whine,

“What the hell is that? Is it something that Jack broke?”

How much? Guess what, your guess is as good as mine.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Why does she, behind mask, ask you, “How are you there?”

When ten fingers are jammed into your mouth all agape

And your tongue is imprisoned with rolled cottony stuff.

You answer, but sounds you muster are those of an ape.

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Pins and needles in your bum are just part of the share

Of the tingling that’s present in your lips and your gums.

You know you’ll talk funny now that the treatment is done.

But will you walk funny, hobble? Be made fun of by chums?

Welcome, oh, dear one, welcome to the dentist’s chair.

Finally I now finish my verses with flourish and flair

I’ve been here many times, you can deduce from my tale.

So remember to keep flossing and keep on brushing away

Or you shall be saying, in the near future, with a wail

“Welcome, oh, dear me! Welcome to the dentist’s chair!

the three dreams

The Three Dreams

It was just another black-crazed night, one of so many

To you it might’ve been just another one of plenty

The moon as always was there silver, fat and brooding

A witness with no voice to scold or hinder my dreaming.

It was once on a night, not so unlike tonight’s darkness.

When? My fragile mind has no reply, leashed with blindness.

As always is, my dreams were unabashed and uncertain

Hiding my wretched nightmares, like supple velvet curtains.

Firstly, of the three, there was a girl with a certain affliction

Words, she uttered with terrifying and vulgar diction.

Tourette’s, her syndrome, the reason for her swearing

Believe me, it’s the awful truth, to lie would be sinning.

I pleaded and implored “Talk dirty to me, my darling.”

Hissing she says “You’re just a piece of shit! I’m farting!!!

Other words that come out of her mouth are just plain scary

As she proceeds to curse with increasing vulgarity.

I wake from this dream, full of thuds and fears in my bosom

I lie there on my bed, mind unfit to think and blossom.

My breaths they calm, as I listen to the eerie night’s silence

Falling down sleep’s abyss, another dream soon to commence.

The next of the surging dreams that plagued me that far-off night

Was to come, as I slumbered, not far from my first fright.

Wisely I figured, silly it was to dream this very next vision,

But at times dreams are in flames before control takes fruition.

The scene was one of those, one might see in slow motion

Before me, twins of beauty, of Siamese persuasion.

“Join us”, did they beckon? Or was it just something I coined?

Bewildered, I question “Aren’t you already conjoined?

As swift as the violent stroke of a knight’s sharpened sabre

Said dream that drove my mind into confusion was over.

My eyes once more opened into the darkness of the hour

Once more awaiting precious sleep to come, as I cower.

The last and the third of the dreams that icy, restless eve

Was to come in a moment, chances far-gone to hide and grieve.

Truly it was, the most intriguing of the cursed three

About a girl of short stature and a hunch on her back, you see.

The reason why this sprung into my asleep yet lively brain

I’m unsure, I confess without deceit, I mean, what’s to gain?

I knew not then, why this was the most troubling and creepy?

Was it when she said? “I’m a midget and hunchback. Use me!”

In my trembling voice, I ask her, “What do you ever mean?

She just winked as her slitted eyes turned from crimson to green.

I said without any shame or thoughts of my psyche’s well being

“Why don’t you lie there on the floor for the time being.

She smiled her crooked smile, teeth as crooked as her lips

As she eased herself down on the vinyl, quick as a whip.

Then she questioned, “What are you going to do?” in a squeak.

Answer I did “Be patient, oh hunchback and midget freak”.

“I shall put on some music, something I know you will love,

A tune of old, in an era when tears fell from a dove.

As I carry out my plan to make you beg and feel dizzy,

Relax, my dear hunchback, it’s going to be a beauty.”

The recording I had chosen was within easy reach,

Next to the record which held the sonnet “Papa Don’t Preach”.

I played it loud its’ inspiring and melodious sound

A song with a chorus “You spin me right round, baby, right round.”

I watched and enjoyed it, her spinning, spinning on the floor

As she kept begging with each twirl and spin “Yes! More, more, more!

Of this elated bliss little could she could take, I assumed

Vertigo stemmed it, yet my hunger was still not consumed.

As this all unfolded I knew in my secluded heart

It would be the last I dream of her, we were soon to part.

It broke me, crumbling my mortared soul into shards and pieces.

As she stood up from the floor, my wondrous joy fades then ceases.

She whispered softly “Well, that was definitely most fun

Forgive me I’ve got to leave you now. I really must run.

I must fly to my beloved, my prince, who deals with gore

A slave in Frankenstein’s castle, my dear beloved Igor. “